CHANGING FROM "NO" TO "YES"
September 29, 2002
Fr. George Smiga

Matthew 21:28-32

A man came into a psychiatrist's office wearing two strips of bacon, one attached to each ear, and two fried eggs, sunny-side-up, on the top of his head. He sat down and addressed the psychiatrist, "Doctor, I'm here to talk to you today about my sister."

Why is it, that it is so much easier for us to see the flaws and peculiarities of other people and largely remain blind to shortcomings in ourselves? Why is it that we are so quick to point out ways in which other people need to change, but remain largely content about the people that we are, even when our habits hurt those we love?

It's a kind of denial, you know, walking around with eggs on your head and pretending that everything is normal. But it's a denial that is largely unnecessary. The truth is, that when we are able to admit our faults, when we can own the mistakes that we have made, we are not submitting to defeat and failure. We are, instead, taking the first step toward healing and success.

That is the message of today's parable. An owner of a vineyard had two sons and neither one of them was perfect. The first son said "no" to his father, but then changed his mind and did what his father asked. The second son said "yes" to his father's request but did nothing. A perfect son would have said "yes to his father and then done the father's will. But few of us are perfect. That is why, for us, the hero of today's parable is the first son, who originally said "no" but then changed his mind and went to work in the vineyard. The good news of the parable is that with God's help, we can change a "no" into a "yes."

This movement from "no" to "yes" is a fundamental Christian pattern that is routinely present in the Scriptures. Peter denies Jesus, but later repents. Thomas refuses to accept Jesus' resurrection, but then becomes a believer. Paul persecutes the early followers of Jesus, but then converts and becomes one of the great apostles of the church. In later generations, this same movement continues. Augustine lived his early life in debauchery, but then became one the great spiritual teachers of our history. Francis of Assisi began his life in privilege and self-indulgence but then changed to live a life of simplicity and service.

We need not be ashamed of moving from "no" to "yes." Whenever we follow that pattern, we find ourselves in very good company. But if we are going to follow this basic Christian movement, we must start by admitting our denial. We must begin by owning that there are ways in which we say "no," ways in which we are flawed, ways in which we need to change.

So what are the ways that you say "no" in your life? What are the ways you need to change? The gospel today calls us to own our shortcomings. Do you find yourself judging others, being impatient with those who think or act differently than you do? Are you prejudiced towards those of a different race, religion, nationality or sexual orientation? Do you find yourself so concerned about your own needs and desires that you ignore your responsibility to the people in your life: to your spouse, to your children or parents, to your friends? Do you find yourself abusing your body by excessive eating or the misuse of alcohol, tobacco or drugs? How often do we find ourselves refusing to admit that we are wrong, never saying we're sorry or asking someone else for forgiveness? How often do we get so caught up in the details of life that we turn ungrateful, forgetting to thank the people who serve us and help us day after day?

Whatever flaws you find in your life, whatever mistakes you have made, they need not control you. Our past does not determine our future. Our history is not our destiny. A sin can be forgiven. A flaw can be mended. A life can be changed. Through our Baptism, we are part of a community where sinners become saints on a daily basis, where those who judge learn to understand, where those who think only of themselves become servants of others.

It is never too late. Mercy never runs out. With God's help, our worst "no" can become a clear and glorious "yes."