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Trusting
the Spirit of Love
May
13, 2007
John
14:23-29
Fr.
George Smiga
Mothers
are not perfect. That might seem like a rather blunt and negative
way to begin a homily on Mother's Day. But it is not my intention
to single mothers out for any kind of criticism. I can just
as easily say that fathers are not perfect, sons and daughters
are not perfect, pastors are not perfect. None of us are fully
the people we need to be. Each one of us, at one time or another,
gets things wrong, makes a bad decision, and ends up hurting
the people close to us. To be human is in some sense to be
flawed, and those flaws invariably cause disappointment, regret,
and pain in our lives.
Now
this is nothing new. Today's first reading makes it very clear
that there were plenty of flaws in the early church. Just
a few years after Jesus' resurrection, the church was already
deeply divided over the issue of whether Gentiles needed to
be circumcised or not. The apostles were at odds with each
other. Peter and Paul and James clashed and insisted that
the others were being stubborn in their opinion. So from the
very start the church, like every other human institution,
was marked by disagreement, disappointment, regret, and pain
that flowed from its all too human members.
The
same is true for us. We are not perfect, and yet we are called
to love one another. We are not perfect, and yet we are expected
to be family and friends and community. So how are we to negotiate
this loving across all the flaws which characterize every
one of us? There is no simple answer to that question. There
is no single formula of loving that will fit every situation.
When someone disappoints us, when somebody makes a decision
with which we do not agree, when someone hurts us, what should
we do? Should we bite our lip, say nothing, and let things
slide? Sometimes. Should we stand up, object, and demand that
things change? Sometimes. Should we make a decision that the
relationship is so flawed, so painful, that we cannot continue
in it? Sometimes. Each one of us must discern and decide on
a case-by-case basis how we can negotiate loving others who
are all as flawed as we are.
Jesus
knows we need that kind of freedom. We need that flexibility
in loving. Jesus commands us to love one another, but he is
not specific on what love looks like in each situation. When
it comes to loving, Jesus does not give us a blue-print, he
gives us a person, the Holy Spirit. Jesus says in today's
gospel, that an advocate, the Holy Spirit, will be sent to
us to teach us everything we need to know, to show us how
we are to love in a flawed world. That Holy Spirit is with
us and guides us. That spirit is always active, prompting
us to be realistic and to be brave.
The
Holy Spirit asks us to be realistic in loving because we are
all flawed people. Therefore in loving we have to be willing
to make allowances, even when other persons are not who we
want them to be. Even when they disappoint us and hurt us,
the Spirit of God asks us whether our love can be of such
a kind to overcome those faults and disappointments. If any
of us will insist that we have to be loved perfectly, then
lasting human love is impossible. So the Holy Spirit asks
us to be realistic, to make allowances.
The
spirit also asks us to be brave. When we have tried over and
over again to love and have not been successful, when our
efforts in loving are not helpful but harmful, then the spirit
asks us to speak up and to ask that things change. The spirit
may even ask us to consider whether a particular relationship
should come to an end. It is never easy to speak up, to insist
that another person needs to change. Nor is it easy to live
with the consequences of such a decision. But at times it
is necessary. And when it is necessary, the Spirit of God
asks us to be brave enough to make that choice.
Jesus
asks us to love one another, to be mothers and fathers, sons
and daughters, friends and partners in life. But none of us
is perfect and that makes loving difficult. That is why Jesus
gives us his spirit to lead us and guide us. That is why we
have an Advocate who leads us to be realistic and brave. Let
us follow the spirit that we might love—if not easily, honestly;
if not perfectly, in such a way that is real enough that we
can be family and friends and community to one another.
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