Being a Holy Family

December 31, 2006

Luke 2:41-52

 

Fr. George Smiga

 

No family is perfect but every family is holy. We must appreciate both parts of this statement if we are to understand the meaning of today's feast, The Feast of the Holy Family.

 

No family is perfect. Family life is often a challenge and sometimes a burden. This was even true of Jesus' family. Look at the mess that they made on their family vacation to Jerusalem . Misunderstanding, harsh words, anxiety, characterized the trip. It is no different in our families. It does not take us long to become involved in hurt, misunderstanding, and stress. Our families are challenged by divorce, by heartbreak, by envy. Simply looking at the relationships in which we live reminds us that flaws are present. We often wish that things could be different. No family is perfect.

 

But every family is holy. This is the harder part of the sentence to appreciate, but it is true. Every family is holy because God dwells in every family. Where God is present, there is holiness. God calls us to live in family. Because of that call it is in family that we discover God's will and that we encounter God's presence. After communion today, I have asked Marianne Slattery, our Director of Religious Formation, to share with us some of her reflections upon family life. But as we proceed in this Eucharist to the table of the Lord, it is important to embrace both the imperfections and the holiness of our families and to realize that one does not negate the other.

 

No matter what kind of flaws we experience in our relationships of family, family is still the place where God dwells. It is in the interactions of the relationships of family that we experience God's presence and we become the people that God calls us to be.

 

Mystagogium: Marianne Slattery

 

All families are holy. No family is perfect.

 

Have you ever been late to pick up a child from an activity or friend's house? Did you ever forget to pick up the child all together? I have—and more than once. Of course, I didn't do it on purpose and it doesn't mean I don't love and care about my children. More likely it means I was distracted by something else or that there was some miscommunication about the arrangements.

 

It doesn't really excuse me, but it does help me feel better to know that the Holy Family of today's Gospel had to deal with these issues, too. Every family has miscommunications and misunderstandings. There was a misunderstanding in the Jesus' family. Mary assumed Jesus was with Joseph. Joseph assumed Jesus was with Mary. The relatives probably figured Mary and Joseph knew where their son was. Jesus is the last person we would find fault with, but he did cause some anxiety for his parents. For whatever reason, he didn't follow the travel plans of his parents.

 

Often without meaning to, we also cause anxiety and frustration in our families.

 

Sometimes the greatest frustrations happen when one person's expectations are different from another's. Maybe you're the mother of a young child and you get up in the morning with your day pretty well planned out. But your baby is cutting a tooth or has an ear infection . . . or both. The baby needs to be held. Now it isn't that you don't want to comfort your child; you know you will. But in the back of your mind, you still had something else you were going to do with your day.

 

Maybe when you were a teenager or young adult, you chose a school, a career or a relationship that didn't coincide with the expectations of your parents. Frustration occurs in no small measure when one person is spreading his wings and the other is having trouble letting go.

  

Imperfections are just part of family life. They are part of being a family: the family we are born into, the family we create, or the family we adopt. We are made holy, made into holy families, by God's grace. It is through God's grace that we can work, if not toward perfection, at least toward improvement. Through grace we have the strength, courage, and humility to grow so that we might become better . . . even though not perfect.

 

Through God we can claim both our imperfections and our holiness. We honor the holiness of our families and relationships by listening to others and trying to understand them. This doesn't mean we always have to agree, just that we need to be open to change, open to learning something new, seeing something in a new way.

 

So why are we holy? Because we believe that God's presence is in us and between us. It's pretty easy to see the things that make us imperfect. It's harder at times to remember that God's presence makes us holy. Let's remember that this week in the midst of all the things that demand our attention. God has given us to one another and in loving one another we find the holiness that God has placed in our families.

 

 

 

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