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Rebuilding
the Traditions of Our Lives
November
28, 2004 Homily
Fr.
George Smiga
Matthew
24:37-44
There
is a saying in architecture, “First we shape the building
and then the building shapes us.” This insight points to an
interplay; a give and take, between ourselves and the spaces
we inhabit. Buildings don't just happen, someone shapes them,
someone designs them, someone decides how many rooms there
will be, how many windows, how much open space. But, once
those decisions are made and we live in the buildings, the
buildings then shape us. They influence our lives either for
good or for ill. What is true about buildings is also true
about traditions. We shape our traditions. But then our traditions
shape us. Our decisions about what we are going to do or not
do, how we're going to gather with other people are decisions
we make. But once we put them into practice they influence
us and help shape who we are as people. As in architecture,
there is a give and take; an interplay between ourselves and
our traditions.
Now
this is a very important point to consider because in the
upcoming weeks we are going to enact a number of traditions.
We all carry customs for the season of Christmas, traditions
that we bring from our childhood, from our heritage. These
customs are an important part of the holidays. But for them
to work well, for them to do the job they are intended to
do, those traditions need to fit our lives, and the truth
is our lives are changing. We are not the same people we were
when we were children. We are not even the same people we
were last year. Therefore, every so often in the interplay
between our traditions and our lives we need to ask the question,
“Is there something about our traditions that we need to change?
Do we need to reshape our traditions so that they in turn
can reshape us?”
Now,
to make this kind of shaping/reshaping clear, we have to know
what is going on in our lives. We need to be able to read
the signs of the time and be in touch with what is really
happening around us. This is what the Gospel today addresses.
The people of Noah's time are criticized because they were
not in touch with what was going on around them. They did
not see the upcoming flood and they continued on with life
as usual up until the very day that Noah entered the ark.
This is why the Gospel is telling us, “Stay awake. Be ready.
Be attentive. Be in touch with what is really happening in
your life so that you will be able to sense what needs to
change, what needs to stay the same.”
What
are some of the changes that might be going on in our life
that could impact our holiday traditions? There might have
been someone in our life recently who has died; a parent,
a grandparent. With that person missing the whole pattern
of our family network changes. We might need to replace that
person's role in our holiday traditions by asking someone
else to assume it or perhaps sharing that role among a number
of people. Children in our life might have married or moved
away so that once where there were twelve people around the
Christmas table, this year there might be six or two. Our
children might be growing older, entering high school or college
and there might be issues going on in our life so that we
are looking now in our traditions for more than Santa Claus
and opening presents.
We
need to be reading the signs of the times in our life and
asking ourselves, “How do our holiday traditions need to be
reshaped to fit the people we are?” Now these are questions
that you must answer. But let me this morning offer a few
examples of the kind of reshaping that could be useful. If
you sense in your family that people are maturing and looking
for more from the holidays than simply opening presents, why
not take action as the host of the holiday celebration to
call ahead and invite one or two people to share what is happening
in their lives? Christmas after all is about Emmanuel, God
with us. Why not find a space within your traditions for one
or two people to say, “How did I know that God was with me
this year?” It will deepen and spiritualize your traditions.
If
someone has died, then there should be a place in your holiday
traditions to remember that person, perhaps including them
in the prayer before the meal, or perhaps asking someone to
share a story about them that would capture their spirit.
If
divorce has happened in your family, then perhaps it would
be good to find a way in the traditions of the season where
you could still maintain some connection with people who used
to be part of your lives but will no longer be sitting around
the table.
If
your children have grown and moved away and you find yourself
with less activity and more time on your hands, then perhaps
service should become a part of your holiday traditions. You
could volunteer in a food bank or perhaps change your work
schedule to work on Christmas morning freeing up someone else
to be with their family. If there are less people around your
table then perhaps you should think of asking someone to join
you, another couple whose children have moved away or someone
who is living alone. Remember these traditions do not all
have to center on Christmas itself. People who are alone are
alone on more than just December 25 th . You could invite
them over the day after Christmas or the Sunday after Christmas.
If there are new people as a part of your family, new in-laws
or children from a blended family, then it's important to
find a way of including them and welcoming them as part of
your traditions. As long as we are alive, we are
changing, and our holiday traditions should change as well
so that they reflect the people we are today. Do not put this
responsibility aside. You have only a few weeks before the
holidays. Do not go blindly into the traditions you did last
year without first asking, “Do my celebrations need to be
adapted to fit the life I am living now?” God becomes present
to us when we gather together and so it is important to gather
together well. Make your plans now. Plan to reshape your traditions
so that they in turn can reshape you. We have the power to
change the way we celebrate and therefore, give to our traditions
a greater power to call us closer to one another, to bring
us closer to God.
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