|
Speaking
as a Sinner
June
4-5,2005
Fr.
George Smiga
Matthew
9:9-13
“My
name is David, and I am an alcoholic.” This is the prescribed
introduction for anyone who participates in Alcoholics Anonymous
or other 12-Step programs. I know that there are some here
today who recognize this introduction by personal experience.
But even for those of us who have never attended an AA meeting,
the significance of that sentence is still evident. Ever since
1935, when Alcoholics Anonymous was founded in Akron , Ohio
, hundreds of thousands of people have used AA's 12-Step process
to achieve a viable and rewarding life. AA has also given
birth to a number of other programs helping people cope with
the addiction to narcotics, overeating, and gambling.
The
essential premise for all these 12-Step programs is enshrined
in that one sentence introduction: “I am an alcoholic.” AA
recognizes that things will not change, people will not grow,
until they can recognize that they have a problem. Nothing
is going to become better as long as people deny that there
is a sickness, as long as they refuse to ask for help.
This
is a profound insight into the human condition, and it is
connected directly to Jesus' words in today's gospel. There
Jesus says, “I have come not to save the righteous, but sinners”.
Jesus is asserting that he has come to save those who are
in need, those who are sinful. Therefore, if we want to have
a relationship with him, we must own our need, we must admit
our sinfulness. So let's try this sentence on for size: “My
name is George, and I am a sinner”. Put your own name into
the sentence and see how it feels. “My name is ______, and
I am a sinner.” Do you find that there is a part of you that
is arguing against this statement? Is there a piece of you
that insists, “That sentence really doesn't apply to me. I'm
not really a sinner, I'm really not that bad.” In one sense,
you are correct. You may not be a horrendous sinner, a murderer
or someone who has ruined someone else's reputation. But in
another sense, are you saying that you have no shortcomings,
that you have no needs which should be addressed? “Oh,” you
say, “if that's what you mean, of course. There is always
room to grow.” That is exactly what I mean. So here is my
question: If we admit that there is room to grow, if we admit
that we need to change, why do we resist calling ourselves
sinners?
Here
is what I think: I think we believe we can change things ourselves.
I think we recognize that there are places in our life where
we need to grow, but we convince ourselves that they are not
important enough to warrant bothering God with them. Yes,
we need to be a bit more patient, or less judgmental, or more
generous. It would be good if we dropped a few pounds or quit
smoking. We do need to be more honest with our spouse, or
spend more time with our family, or find the courage to say
“no” to someone who is taking advantage of us. Yes, these
are areas where we should grow, but they are really not important
enough to bother God with them. We convince ourselves that
we can take care of these things ourselves.
Now
I ask you, what kind of thinking is this? It is denial. It
is denying that we have a problem, denying that that problem
is important enough to move us to change. How long are we
going to wait until we deal with patience? Until we stop smoking?
Until we find the courage to say “no”? It might seem polite
that we decide not to bother God with our needs. But it is
not polite at all. It is God's job to meet our needs. God
is our savior, and if we insist on saving ourselves, we turn
our relationship with God upside down and distort our roles
within it. If we think that we can solve our own needs ourselves,
it is impossible to have an honest relationship with God.
God is the giver; we are receivers. God is the healer; we
are the ones in need. God is the one who saves; we are the
sinners.
Now
of course, this doesn't mean that God works in our life in
some magical way. God depends upon our cooperation, our openness,
our willingness to exert some effort. But what sense does
it make to have an all-powerful and loving God if we do not
turn to God in our time of need? It makes no sense at all
unless we want to delude ourselves, unless we want to deny
that we need to ask for help.
The
gospel invites us to move out of denial and to face the truth,
to recognize that there is no need so small that it is inappropriate
to bring it to God. Let us leave our pride and recognize our
need to grow. If you need to be patient, ask for God's help.
If you need to stop smoking, ask for God's help. If you need
the courage to say no, ask for God's help. You know what your
needs are. Admitting you need help is not a failure. It is
the essential step toward a richer life. We are people who
need to change. The good news is that Jesus came to save sinners
like us.
|
