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What
Friends Do
February
19, 2006 Homily
Mark
2:1-12
Fr.
George Smiga
Two
friends were hiking in the mountains when one of them was
suddenly bit by a rattlesnake. The other said, “Just be calm,
I'll run back to the town and find a doctor.” So he ran back
a couple miles to a little village where he found the only
doctor, who was in the process of assisting a woman with childbirth.
“Look,” the doctor said, “I can't go with you now, but here's
what you have to do. Go back to your friend and then take
your knife and cut a small X over the place where the snake
bit. Then put your mouth over the cut and suck out the poison
and spit it on the ground. Do you understand this?” The man
nodded and ran back to his companion, who by his time was
rolling in pain. “What did the doctor say?” the victim cried
out. “What did the doctor say?” His friend knelt down next
to his friend with tears in his eyes and said, “The doctor
says you're gonna die.”
Sometimes
our friends disappoint us in our time of need. Sometimes they
are unable or unwilling to do what it takes to help us. This
is clearly not the case in today's gospel. The paralyzed man
whom Jesus heals is brought forward by four of his friends.
When they cannot reach Jesus because of the crowd, they open
the roof above him and lower down their friend into the Lord's
presence. The gospel is very clear that the faith that Jesus
recognizes is not the faith of the man who is paralyzed, but
the faith of his friends. This then is real friendship: physically
carrying your friend to the Lord, overcoming every obstacle
to healing for the one you love.
This
gospel story emphasizes is our connection to one another and
challenges us to support those we love in their need. But
it has a very specific need in mind. It challenges us to support
those we love in their need to forgive and to be forgiven.
This story, like many in the gospels, connects physical healing
with spiritual healing. Jesus heals the man physically by
forgiving his sins. It is the man's friends who recognize
the need: the healing and the forgiveness of Jesus. Here then
is the question for us: how do we support those we love in
their need to forgive and to be forgiven? It is a big question,
but allow me to suggest two answers. We listen. We pray.
Whenever
anyone is hurt, that hurt wounds a person, and that wound
will remain until it is addressed. Such wounds can fester
and give birth to anger, to depression, to the desire for
revenge. All of us probably know someone who is carrying such
a hurt. Some people have carried anger for years. Some people
have carried depression so long that it has become second
nature. What the gospel suggests is that if we are close enough
to such a person, if there is trust between us, we could choose
to listen. We could say to that person, “Frank, what's bothering
you?” “Sally, why are you so angry?” If we find the right
moment to pose such a question, it could provide an opportunity
for our friend to let the pain out. If that begins to happen,
our job is to listen. Not to judge, not to give advice, but
simply listen to the pain. To be honest, if you ask an angry
people why they are angry, some of that anger can spill on
to you. But friends are willing to take that anger. They are
willing to suck the poison out so that healing can begin.
This
leads then to the second action we can undertake for those
who need to forgive or be forgiven. We can pray. If the relationship
allows it, we could say, “I will pray for you, that you might
let your anger go.” If the person is a believer, we might
even say. “I'm going to pray that you might hand over your
hurt to the Lord.” Even if it doesn't seem wise to make that
statement to the person directly, we are always able to pray
for the person in our hearts. We can always bring the hurt
to the Lord on their behalf.
This
week in our GIFT program we are discussing the sacrament of
penance and preparing for the communal celebration of that
sacrament on March 14 th here in our parish. I am sharing
with those who come in the adult session that they could participate
in the communal penance service even if they have no sins
they wished to confess. They could participate by praying
with and for those who do come to confess their sins. In other
words, they could come to pray for others. In this sense,
what happens in today's gospel might be seen as the first
communal penance service. The friends come to Jesus, not because
they need healing, not because they need forgiveness, but
because their friend does.
Therefore
you may even choose to come to our communal penance service
and pray for someone who is not yet ready to confess their
sins. You can come to pray for a member of your family whose
hurt is so deep that he or she will not admit it or let anyone
touch it. Your role in the communal penance service need not
be to receive the sacrament yourself but to pray for all of
those who confess their sins, and those who need to confess
their sins.
Of
course, it is not always easy to listen and to pray for another,
it requires effort and patience. It involves risk. But those
who hear the gospel know that they are called to such service.
They know that listening to and praying for others is not
only following the command of Christ. It is also what friends
do.
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